Thursday, June 11, 2009

Loris and Lorana

The night I posted about the JSMB I was thinking about it and had a flashback. I was floored I had completely spaced this story and not mentioned it, but decided it actually needs its own post anyway! Story Time!

In August of 2005 I went to what I thought was a Young Single Adult Activity. I showed up at the church and went out to the pavilion but saw that it was just a bunch of older people and figured it was a family reunion. I assumed I had the wrong address and started to drive home. As I pulled in another car had pulled in with an older guy in it…I figured he must be coming for the reunion. He stopped me on my way out and said, “Are you here for the Single’s Activity?” I was like, “Well, I thought so, but I’m pretty sure I have the wrong address.” He said, “I came for it too. We must have both been given the wrong address.” (In my head I thought, okay one of us was DEFINITELY given the wrong info for which age group this was for!) We both start to head out and he’s in his car in front of me. We’re driving through the neighborhood and all the sudden he stops in the middle of the road, puts his car in park, gets out and starts walking towards my car. I was a bit weirded out, to say the least! He comes to my window and says, “Well, since we both expected to come to this activity and get dinner, how about I take you out to dinner at Golden Corral?” Panic strikes. A date with an old man?! Is he safe? Is this okay? A zillion thoughts flew through my head and I said okay. He told me to follow him. I was shaking pretty bad while driving wondering if this was okay. I assured myself it was because I was in my own car, we were going to a public place, etc. We were driving towards Golden Corral and all the sudden he pulled off into Jim’s Family Restaurant. I almost laffed out loud because my grandparents love that place. We parked and he said he thought it would be a nicer place to go. :) We got in and ordered and talked. He told me about his 7 (I think, I know I wrote it all in my journal, but I’m just going from memory here!) kids and where they lived and what they did, he told me about his wife who had recently died, he told me about how he wouldn’t be able to marry for a long time, etc. He had hearing aids, wore suspenders, wore a ballcap with some random logo on it, etc, and his name was Loris. Pretty much your typical grandpa! He talked about himself for quite awhile which was totally fine because I was still nervous about giving him personal info. He did finally ask about me and I just gave general stuff. I did tell him that I worked at the JSMB and that there was a lady I could set him up with, if he liked. He said no. (This ladies name was Lorana and had just started working at the JSMB very recently and announced that she was looking to get married as soon as possible so that she could serve a mission. Her third husband had just died.) As we were nearing the end of the dinner I told him I had a completely inappropriate question for him and asked how old he was. He said 77. :) We finished dinner and went out to the cars. He said that since he had paid for my dinner, he deserved a hug. I gave him one and we parted. And I thought that was the end of the story...
A week later on Saturday I went to the JSMB like usual. I was working at the movie check-in with two of my old guy pals (one is Lamar, the guy closest on the right in the picture with me and my peeps… just a side note… he was so nice to me and cared so much for my feelings… totally a favorite… back to the story…). I told them I had a story for them. I told pretty much exactly what you’ve read. I just kept calling him ‘an old guy’ and they kept saying, “You don’t understand old; we’re old.” (I totally knew they were expecting a 40-year-old so I was waiting until the very end to tell them he was 77.) I’m telling them about dinner and all his kids and stuff and then I see a man walking towards me from across the lobby. I freeze and panic. I say hello, he says hello, and he sits down to me. I’m silent and I’m shaking and I don’t know what to do. After a few seconds, Lamar says, “So finish the story!!” and turns to the guy who’s just walked up and says, “She’s telling us a funny story about a date she went on last weekend!” I am shaking and silent and freaking out. Finally I say, “Um. This is him.” Pretty much it was horrible. Lamar practically fell out of his seat. All I can say is it was SO AWKWARD. I had no idea what to say or do or anything. I really don’t know that I’ve ever been so uncomfortable in my life! In my head I thought, “if this guy thinks he has a chance with me, he has another thing coming to him…he BETTER not be coming to see me.” So I said, “Well! Since you’re here, I’m going to introduce you to Lorana!” He wasn’t thrilled but I did it anyway. Well they went to lunch that afternoon. And WEEKS later, not even a MONTH!, they were married!!! Did they invite me to the wedding? NO! RUDE, HUH! Little Miss Cupid Matchmaker doesn’t even get a THANK YOU???!!! Ha. Anyway, Lorana quit the JSMB pretty much immediately after they met. I decided to call her after the wedding to see how she was. She seemed excited to talk to me and invited me to their Open House which was that Saturday in their new house (his house that she had moved into). I went and took my friend Wes with me. Loris and Lorana were SO excited to see me and gave me huge hugs and then took us on the grand tour of the entire home (including the pantry!), fed us cake and sat us down and were holding hands and snuggling up to each other the whole time. It was so classic. Then they informed us that Lorana’s cousin and Loris’s best friend from high school were getting married the next week! It was good times for sure. I have no idea where they’re at now, unfortunately.

And that’s my story of my date with a 77-year-old. :)

I’ve debated back and forth if I should tell the other part of this story. I’ve decided to share a very condensed version. I really do love this story but I feel pretty wrong sharing all sorts of dirty gossip via the internet! If any of you want to hear the whole story I will definitely tell in person!
Okay so the other part… Lorana thought that since I had set her up with someone that she should return the favor and set me up. I wasn’t thrilled, but agreed. In short, he was very short, very much a nerd, hadn’t held a job for a couple years, had the aspirations of being a caricature artist but had never been able to get business… My favorite line from him was about how flat Indiana is. (Just fyi, it’s flat enough that you could lay on the ground and see an ant doing push-ups a mile away.) :) After two dates, it was quite obvious that we weren’t compatible (not tying to be mean, it’s just the truth). I figured things were over since we quit talking but over TWO MONTHS later he showed up at my work! It was horrible. He insisted that I had been nervous around him and that I shouldn't be nervous and that we should go out again. I told him I wasn't nervous and that we shouldn't go out again. He wouldn't listen to any excuse I made so I told him I was really serious with a guy. (TOTALLY a lie, but it was all I could think of!) His face dropped and he said, "Oh. Is he the one you were with when my parents met you?" I said yes. (His parents were at Loris and Lorana's Open House when Wes and I showed up and Lorana introduced us.) After 40 minutes of being there I asked him to leave but he refused to leave without giving me his number so that "I could call him whenever I just needed someone to talk to... because he wanted to be that kind of friend to me who listens because he has two really big ears and an empty head..."

Good times!!

11 comments:

Julie said...

I love reading your blog. Such a great story! I remember you telling me about this when it happened, but I didn't know Loris and Lorana got married! Cool!

Andrea J said...

I want you to know that these sorts of things don't happen to everyone - you are a unique soul to put up with all of this. Wow, wow, wow.

*Liese said...

Okay Becky...It's not every day that I laugh so hard I cry! Seriously, OUT LOUD WITH TEARS. Fabulous stories; I really thought things like this only happened to me! Which brings me to the next point: I HAVE to know the entirety of the story-I just have to! Pretty sure you owe me a Facebook e-mail now. :)

P.S. Still laughing. HARD.

Gage said...

Love it. That story cracks me up. I really want to know what things you can't tell via the internet...I can't imagine there being much more that could make this even funnier. Email me the correct version since I won't be seeing you in person anytime soon. And since I live in Indiana - I can attest that you can't see an ant doing pushups from a mile away. Maybe 1/2 mile but no way a mile. :)

Aloha_Misty said...

Oh my gosh becky! You are hilarious! Your last 2 posts had me rolling with laughter!

LeBaron Family said...

Hahahaha! I totally remember talking to you about that when it happened!! Good Times. Seriously.
As awkward was it was for you the Lord probably needed you to get Lori and Lorana hooked up!! hehehehehe
Good Times. We should share funny stories from our college days . . . . like the roommate who left cupboards open on purpose . . .

Emily said...

LOL... the memories! I remember hearing about both of these stories soon after they happened. Your life is so exciting. :)

Suzanne said...

Becky, do you realize you were, as Elder Holland says, an instrument "in the hand of God" for Loris and Lorana? As for that other guy, I like the tall, dark, curly-haired guy you married much better. He's perfect for YOU!

Kimber said...

Side note: I showed up at the JSMB and totally saved the day :-)Oh Be-icky... I am soooo glad we share these awesomly awkward memories.

Matthew and Hillary said...

OH...you crack me up. I swear you have more crazy dating stories than anyone I know

Lisa and Mike said...

OH...what an entertaining story!! Thanks for sharing!