Sunday, October 17, 2010

Jotting Random Thoughts

I have a much longer commute these days which leads to a lot more thinking time. Not sure if it's a good or bad thing... I'm not sure why I'm sharing them, but then again why not?

1. This move has been wonderful. It's amazing how the Lord watches out for us. For months we'd been trying to find an apartment manager position so that our rent expense could decrease and so hopefully I could stay home with Eliza. We applied and tried for multiple things but they all didn't work out. We were so bummed because we couldn't think of another way. Then, out of the blue, we were approached asking if we would be caretakers of this home. WHAT!?! We couldn't believe it and are so grateful for Him watching over the details of our lives. Initially we were just excited to move out of our 600 sq ft place and have room to move around! But now that we've been here a few weeks, we are THRILLED. We were content and felt blessed to have been where we were, but moving here has just made us feel like real people! We have closets, a normal size fridge, a front room and sofas, a tub, a kitchen, and windows that look to the world... all things we didn't previously have. We hope things work out and we can be here for a long time.

2. When it comes to dates, we're different. A date to us is sitting together for a few minutes, going on a walk, cooking a meal, or playing a quick game. We rarely go out for entertainment or even go out to eat. Truth be told? I LOVE to go out to eat. And in the future if we have the funds to go out weekly, I'd love to do it, but for now, cooking together will do. Date time can even be defined as being in the same room... even if he's doing homework and I'm working on a project. It's just nice to be near each other since we rarely see each other. Don't take me wrong, we do occasionally go out together to the temple or for our anniversary, but for the most part we're okay to have our dates at home.

3. This "outrage" over President Packer's talk is, in my opinion, a bit ridiculous. Nothing he said was new news and plus that, he was in his own church building sharing his beliefs. When I was young I wouldn't have put any thought into the debate because I didn't know anyone personally who was gay. Now I know a gay person very closely and have thought about his lifestyle quite a bit. And in all honesty, it seems like a lonely and more of a selfish lifestyle because all time and money doesn't go to raising a family... it goes to himself. He is a wonderful person, but I feel he has missed out on many wonderful things this life offers. Comments have been made that we need to accept this lifestyle because it is the way of the future. How can the death of our civilization be a good thing? I am so grateful to have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life that brings me such happiness because of temples and eternal families. I have nothing against the sinner, just the sin.

4. I love Little E. At times I just want to get stuff done, but then I think about missing these moments and try to focus all my attention to her. The moments where I look down and she's staring at me, when she holds onto her links with a deathgrip, those bulldog cheeks, each little squeal and occasional giggle, the way her life revolves around her binky (especially since she couldn't suck for the first 1.5 days of her life!) and the ever-growing thighs. I'm still checking on her 10o times a day. I hope we will be blessed with more sweet spirits.

5. And speaking of Little E... this girl has opinions. Mainly on sleeping and eating. For sleeping... sleeping is really not that cool-- especially through the night. And for eating, she refuses to nurse. For the first couple months, it was occasional fits. But starting at two months, she started to scream and refuse to eat from me more and more often until it became every meal. I kept trying but the stress of the screamfest was just not worth it to me. So for now I am strictly pumping and she is much happier. I'll occasionally try and am greeted with the same hate. At first I was really frustrated and almost mad about it, but now my focus is on how grateful I am that I am still producing milk for her and I hope that I can continue to do so.

6. We are so dang blessed. We have each other and we have a daughter. We are taking care of a home. Aaron is in a good program at school. I am able to work a few hours a day to provide for us. People have been so incredibly generous with giving us hand-me-downs for Eliza that we've barely purchased anything but necessities so far. But of course, we are also nervous for our future... will Aaron do a PhD?, will he be able to get a job?, will I be able to stay home with hopefully more children? But we are doing our best to focus on faith. We've been watched over so far; we need to trust He'll continue to bless us.

And those are my thoughts.

13 comments:

DaNae said...

You have such a great outlook! I'm glad that we have the gospel and can recognize the Lords hand in our lives! Have I told you already to ready babywise? Seriously changed my life and my babies are such good sleepers from following that book.

Shanna said...

Thanks for your thoughts Becky. They made me smile! I am still learning that the Lord does watch over us and He knows what is best for us, even when we can't see it. Enjoy little E, she is beautiful!

Aloha_Misty said...

Becky I am glad that you are in a bigger home now :) Good for you guys. As you may/may not know I had huge struggles with nursing. It is hard and each baby is so different. I pumped with Jacob for almost 2 months and then around four months I had healed enough to get him to eat from me again. At 9 months he started attacking me (okay, not attacking, but hitting, scratching and screaming) when I nursed him. It made me feel like something was wrong with me...but I guess he was just ready to move on. Wish you the best with that. I had a huge love hate relationship with "the pump"

Dawn said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I'm glad to hear Eliza is doing well. I didn't know that you'd moved. Where are you living? I guess I'm way out of the loop with everything.

Dawn said...
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Sarah said...

Let us move in with you!! jk :) Juli freaks out too sometimes when she eats from me (when she is tired and/or impatient) it seems common. Good for you for pumping. I hear about too many people who quit altogether. Yep, lots of 'what ifs' for the future. When does Aaron graduate? with his bachelors right?

Angela & Jason said...

I'm glad everything worked out with your new place, that's so cool! Elize not nursing is the exact opposite from Molly, every once in a while I'll pump and try to give her a bottle because I want her to be able to do both but she gets so mad at me and looks at me like "whatever mom, not gonna happen!" How we love our little girls though :)

Matthew and Hillary said...

Yay for a rambling post! Sounds like things are going well. Don't you love living in a house? For us it's a lot of work, but I'm loving it! Good to hear your thoughts. :)

Mike and Lisa said...

Loved reading about your life as of late! Mike and I have lots of "dates" at home too. Nothin wrong with that. :) By the way, thanks for your offer to make a blessing dress for my baby girl! I would've loved to have you do one, however without me knowing I recently found out that my mother in law is in the process of making her one?! So, guess I won't need to worry about it!

Gary and Alycia said...

What a deep thinker you are! It is amazing what goes through the mind when it is quiet. Congratulations on moving to a bigger place. That has to be such a relief for you. I am sorry the nursing is not going so well, I hope it gets better. You are such a great mom for trying so hard, so many people would have given up already. Good Luck!!!

Bethanie said...

That is amazing that you got the house sitting gig! That is much better than managing apartments. Believe me! Where do you live now?

Colty Kate & Jack said...

I'm glad you're all doing well and liking the new place! I love reading your blog!!

Deann said...

what a wonderful perspective :) It's so great to realize how the little blessings in life can be so huge.