Sunday, October 17, 2010
Jotting Random Thoughts
I have a much longer commute these days which leads to a lot more thinking time. Not sure if it's a good or bad thing... I'm not sure why I'm sharing them, but then again why not?
1. This move has been wonderful. It's amazing how the Lord watches out for us. For months we'd been trying to find an apartment manager position so that our rent expense could decrease and so hopefully I could stay home with Eliza. We applied and tried for multiple things but they all didn't work out. We were so bummed because we couldn't think of another way. Then, out of the blue, we were approached asking if we would be caretakers of this home. WHAT!?! We couldn't believe it and are so grateful for Him watching over the details of our lives. Initially we were just excited to move out of our 600 sq ft place and have room to move around! But now that we've been here a few weeks, we are THRILLED. We were content and felt blessed to have been where we were, but moving here has just made us feel like real people! We have closets, a normal size fridge, a front room and sofas, a tub, a kitchen, and windows that look to the world... all things we didn't previously have. We hope things work out and we can be here for a long time.
2. When it comes to dates, we're different. A date to us is sitting together for a few minutes, going on a walk, cooking a meal, or playing a quick game. We rarely go out for entertainment or even go out to eat. Truth be told? I LOVE to go out to eat. And in the future if we have the funds to go out weekly, I'd love to do it, but for now, cooking together will do. Date time can even be defined as being in the same room... even if he's doing homework and I'm working on a project. It's just nice to be near each other since we rarely see each other. Don't take me wrong, we do occasionally go out together to the temple or for our anniversary, but for the most part we're okay to have our dates at home.
3. This "outrage" over President Packer's talk is, in my opinion, a bit ridiculous. Nothing he said was new news and plus that, he was in his own church building sharing his beliefs. When I was young I wouldn't have put any thought into the debate because I didn't know anyone personally who was gay. Now I know a gay person very closely and have thought about his lifestyle quite a bit. And in all honesty, it seems like a lonely and more of a selfish lifestyle because all time and money doesn't go to raising a family... it goes to himself. He is a wonderful person, but I feel he has missed out on many wonderful things this life offers. Comments have been made that we need to accept this lifestyle because it is the way of the future. How can the death of our civilization be a good thing? I am so grateful to have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life that brings me such happiness because of temples and eternal families. I have nothing against the sinner, just the sin.
4. I love Little E. At times I just want to get stuff done, but then I think about missing these moments and try to focus all my attention to her. The moments where I look down and she's staring at me, when she holds onto her links with a deathgrip, those bulldog cheeks, each little squeal and occasional giggle, the way her life revolves around her binky (especially since she couldn't suck for the first 1.5 days of her life!) and the ever-growing thighs. I'm still checking on her 10o times a day. I hope we will be blessed with more sweet spirits.
5. And speaking of Little E... this girl has opinions. Mainly on sleeping and eating. For sleeping... sleeping is really not that cool-- especially through the night. And for eating, she refuses to nurse. For the first couple months, it was occasional fits. But starting at two months, she started to scream and refuse to eat from me more and more often until it became every meal. I kept trying but the stress of the screamfest was just not worth it to me. So for now I am strictly pumping and she is much happier. I'll occasionally try and am greeted with the same hate. At first I was really frustrated and almost mad about it, but now my focus is on how grateful I am that I am still producing milk for her and I hope that I can continue to do so.
6. We are so dang blessed. We have each other and we have a daughter. We are taking care of a home. Aaron is in a good program at school. I am able to work a few hours a day to provide for us. People have been so incredibly generous with giving us hand-me-downs for Eliza that we've barely purchased anything but necessities so far. But of course, we are also nervous for our future... will Aaron do a PhD?, will he be able to get a job?, will I be able to stay home with hopefully more children? But we are doing our best to focus on faith. We've been watched over so far; we need to trust He'll continue to bless us.
And those are my thoughts.
Posted by BECKY