Sunday, July 1, 2012

Camille

Camille Kelli arrived!
June 19, 2012
5:47 a.m.
7 lbs. 8 oz., 20.5 inches

We are so grateful she's here and we love having a newborn in our home again!
We never debated on Eliza's name, but this time we debated for quite a few months with lots of names that we liked. One night Aaron prayed for her as Camille and it pretty much stuck from there.  Her middle name Kelli comes from Aaron’s Uncle Kelly who passed away suddenly before Christmas last year.  Aaron loves Kelly and has many hilarious memories and stories from him.  Aaron chose to change it from a “y” to an “i” at the end to make it feminine. 




If you are interested in her birth story, here goes:
The week before she was born, Aaron's parent's came to visit. I dragged them everywhere walking and walking and walking hoping labor would start, but it didn't. At my appointment that week, I was at a one.
My next appointment was Monday the 18th (my birthday) at 9:20 a.m. I asked if she would strip my membranes and she did. I was at a 3+ and 70% effaced then and she was sure I would start having contractions within 6 to 12 hours. 
By one to two hours, I was cramping a lot and by noon I had had a few contractions. They came every 12 minutes until 5 p.m. From 5 to 6 I cleaned the house and they started to come every 4 to 5 minutes.  I was surprised to see they were coming that quickly, but I was pretty sure I wasn’t dilating super fast because they weren't increasing in pain.  But of course I didn’t want to deliver in the car so we packed up everything and dropped Eliza off with my parents. We headed downtown (where the hospital is) and decided to grab some dinner just in case we couldn't eat for awhile. We went to Zupas (my choice since it was my birthday!).  The contractions slowed back down to every 12 minutes and only occasionally would come every 4-5 minutes. We walked around the block where Zupas was a few times after that.  We kept debating what to do since I was nervous labor might be stalling.  We finally decided to just go to the hospital and see where I was at and what they said.  We got to Labor & Delivery at 9 p.m. They put the monitors on and when a contraction came on, the nurse felt my belly and said,“WOW, that one is hard.”  I said, “Yeah, I hope they’re doing something good!”  Then she checked me.  I was 3+ and 70% effaced.  I was SO disappointed.  9 hours of contracting and I hadn’t progressed at all.  :(  She told us to walk around for an hour and then she would check me again to see if I had progressed.  We walked around and they started coming every 4-5 minutes again, and when I was checked again, she said I was definitely at a 4 and that because I had progressed, she’d call the doctor and see if they’d let me be admitted. 
While we had been walking that hour, I had a thought come to my mind that I should try squatting.  I pulled out pictures of squatting positions from some labor info I had brought. I found that there were two that were really helped.  One was Aaron sitting on a chair and I would squat back into his legs and rest my armpits on his legs.  It helped with the back labor and also said it helped the baby descend more quickly.  The other one was when we were standing,  he’d hold his arms out and I’d drop back onto them and he’d hold all my weight under my armpits.  That one was physically exhausting for him so I tried to do that one only while walking the halls if there wasn't a chair near.
The nurse ended up having two emergency deliveries and came back 2 hours later at midnight. She checked me and I was at a 4+. Talk about slow progression. Aaron kept telling me, “As soon as you get to a 5, things are going to go SO fast.”  I wanted to believe it because it’s true for most, but I just couldn’t believe it for me.  Our nurse came in and said the exact same thing.  As we began walking again, Aaron said, “In the mouth of 2 or 3 witnesses….!”  I told him I’d like to believe it, but I would only be able to believe it when I saw it.  The nurse asked how long my labor was with Eliza and I said almost 20 hours.  She said, “We’ll definitely beat that; things go so much faster the second time.”  (In the end, it was a total of 18 hours, so I did beat it, but not how I had hoped…!)  The nurse was able to call the doctor then and she admitted me.  She went in and out doing admitting stuff and then came in and said she’d like to check me because she’d seen that at a peak of a contraction it had sharply dropped which usually meant more pressure.  She said I was at a 5. 
From 12 to 12:40 a.m. we walked more and then were monitored again.  I was pretty exhausted so I suggested we should try to sleep through an hour of monitoring and see what happened.  I didn’t sleep, but at least I closed my eyes and rested from 1 to 2 a.m.  It was needed.  Aaron slept too and I was glad because I could tell he was exhausted too.
At 2:30 a.m., I was at my end.  She checked me and I was at a 6 and 90% effaced.  Every time she checked me it was really painful and she had such a hard time reaching the cervix.  I was alone and in so much pain and suffering and so confused at why things were going so terrible.  The contractions were SO hard and painful and were doing almost nothing.  The contractions I had been having at 4-5 cms were as hard as the ones I remember having during transition with Eliza.  In the worst moments, I did feel the prayers of family members comforting me and that Heavenly Father was with me.  In these hard hours, I often thought of our Savior who was alone in the Garden and how He suffered and how alone He must have felt.  I knew that only He could do anything for me during these hours.
We walked for another hour and at 3:30 a.m., I was at a 6 still, but the cervix was not posterior anymore.  I asked if breaking my water would help and she said she’d call my doctor at 6 a.m. and ask her.  I was really uncool with that because that was still a couple hours away.  She came back a few minutes later and asked if I would like her to call now.  I said yes.  She called my doctor and my doctor had her check me during a contraction. At 4:30 a.m. I was at an 8 and was completely effaced.  The contractions started to come almost on top of each other, and I fell back into Aaron’s arms during all of these contractions and squatted.  We rocked back and forth a little while squatting and it helped.  My doctor came in and broke my water at 4:55 a.m. After a couple more contractions, I was at a 10.
I started pushing at 5:19 a.m.  I pushed on my left side and curled my body down so hard every time I pushed.  With Eliza they helped me count every push, but this time I was just going almost nonstop for minutes just trying to get her out.  For some reason, I really thought that it would be very quick, very few pushes and she’d be out.  So many of friends have had the quickest pushing experiences their second time around and I just figured I’d be the same, especially since I was really pushing and curling hard.  I kept thinking I’d hear, “There’s the head!” and never did.  I finally said, “How much longer?”  The doctor and nurses said, “That depends on you” and I got the vibe I wasn't as far as I thought.  During one push my doctor told me to grunt and blow really hard.  I immediately thought that this must be the head and she was trying to help me not tear as it came out.   I felt my doctor stick her hand in me and felt intense pain, so when the head didn’t come out I was confused all over again at why this was taking so long.  (I found out later that she reached in and turned the baby because she was posterior.)  I kept pushing and heard, “I see hair!” and that was when I knew that I wasn’t even close.  I was so disappointed knowing that I had so far to go still.  I cried in between contractions and begged my Heavenly Father to not have another one come quickly because I needed to rest and get ready for another one.  I felt that he did answer my prayers and that I was given minutes in between to rest occasionally when I needed it most, but for the most part they came on top of each other.   I wanted more than anything to just die, but since that wish wasn’t granted I curled my body as hard as I could and pushed with all my might.  As I pushed, I held onto the bed bar with my left hand with all my might (which ended up making my iv needle hit a nerve and made my hand numb for over a week).  When Aaron, the nurse, or my doctor would cheer me on and say they could tell it was a good push, I was so grateful to know that I was progressing.  I kept feeling stretching and insane burning pain. I was sweating horribly.  Finally I heard that the head was out and I tried to touch it quickly but couldn’t because the pain was so insane and intense.  I beared down as hard as I could, screaming I’m pretty sure, and felt the shoulders pass and felt the rest of the limbs come out at 5:47 a.m.   I honestly don’t know that I’ve ever been more relieved in my life.  It was over and she was here.  I was SO happy to have her out.  I knew the afterbirth would be terrible too, but that didn’t matter because SHE WAS OUT!  I was elated. 
They had told me that they’d let her lay on the delivery table for 1.5 minutes after birth to let the blood from the cord enter her before they cut it and I was really happy to let them do that.  I really couldn’t see her that well over my back, but what I could see, I thought, “Oh she’s so small!” I reached my right hand and put it down hoping to feel a leg or something and instead was thrilled to feel her fingers wrap around mine.  It made me the happiest ever.  The 1.5 minutes passed, they cut the cord, and put her on my chest. She almost immediately stopped crying and was so calm. 
I was bleeding so they started a bag of Pitocin to get my uterus to contract faster and they began punching it down. I was really in control and totally okay with it instead of kicking and screaming like with Eliza.  I was holding my child!!!  They let me hold her for at least 10 minutes which I loved.  They took her and weighed her and she was 7lbs. 8oz. I was thrilled... only 2 oz smaller than Eliza and the same length. I was grateful I had had my membranes stripped and had delivered her at that size instead of bigger considering how hard it had been with her that size. My doctor began stitching me up and I began to shake. And shake and shake and shake.  I laid there and shook for probably 30 minutes.  It was horrible and I wished I could stop.  They would occasionally tell me to take huge breaths so I wouldn’t hyperventilate.  Aaron said that watching me lay there convulsing was horrible.  They gave Camille to Aaron during that and I was happy that he was holding her.  After finishing stitching, they gave me lots of fluids since I was really light headed and almost passing out.
Around now, the nurse told us that they found that Camille had been posterior and that my doctor had turned her in the birth canal and I immediately said, “NO WONDER IT TOOK SO LONG.”  I know that when the head isn’t pushing on the cervix correctly that labor is usually longer and that there is a lot of back labor.  It made sense why the rocking positions hadn’t felt right and why the squatting positions had.
I was cleaned up and able to breastfeed her. I was amazed that she latched on and took both sides. Eliza never latched on ever, so it was a miracle. I told Aaron, “If I had to have that terrible of a birth to have a baby who will nurse, I guess I'll take it!”
A bit later I was then told I either had to go pee or that I’d have to have my bladder emptied with a catheter.  I was really light-headed, but didn’t want a catheter so I said I’d try.  Aaron and the nurse helped walk me to the bathroom and on the way I dropped quite a few really large clots.  I sat on the toilet and almost passed out.  The nurse had Aaron hold me on the toilet while she grabbed a wheelchair.  Because I was losing too much blood, they put another bag of Pitocin on.  I actually wanted that so that I could stop bleeding so I was fine with it.  The only problem was that the cramping it created made me almost pass out again. I laid there for probably and hour, looking insanely pale (according to Aaron), and feeling like I'd die. Finally at 9 a.m. I started to bleed normally and was able to go to the postpartum room. In the postpartum room I ended up almost passing out a couple more times, but by noon I was on the uphill climb and did well from there, thankfully!
They bathed her late in the day after I'd fed her a few more times, which I loved.
About 5:30 p.m., my mom brought Eliza .  Eliza really wouldn’t have anything to do with me, but would go to Aaron.  We gave Eliza a present to open that was a book called “Ten Little Ladybugs” and she was really excited to have it.   We kept telling her Baby Camille had given it to her.  (Whenever we’d ask who gave it to her now, she says ‘Baby Tamille’.)  We had a rough night that night with Camille screaming for almost 4 hours with no one having luck consoling her.
My doc and the pediatrician both suggested staying another night, but we decided to leave after lunch since all-in-all I was doing well and I wanted my own bed.
From the time we got home, I've tried to include Eliza in everything and she loves it. The following morning I asked Eliza if she wanted to help me dress Camille and when I pulled out the pants and onesie, she got really mad when I started to put them on Camille.  She said, “No!  No!  Eliza!”  I took the pants and put them over her ankle and said, “They’re too small.  Eliza is too big.”  She said, “NO!  Eliza!  Eliza!  It fits!”  I put them on Camille anyway and she screamed and screamed!  It was funny!  We've had lots of temper tantrums, which we expected and are trying to keep a good balance between being patient with her since it's a huge change, but also not letting dicipline go out the door. She's doing better and better and I think she realizes she's staying around. When we go to put the girl's in the car or get them out of the car, Eliza reminds us to get “Tamille” too which I think is adorable.
I'm so grateful and lucky to have these two girls! Camille is such a sweet, perfect little person. Life is such a miracle.
As for the birth experience… I’m still a bit traumatized.  With Eliza, I was elated with how the natural birth went.  This time was honestly a horrific memory for me.  Hopefully time will help pass the feelings.  As for now, I am very interested into looking into pain relief if things go similarly next time.  If things progress quickly and normally I’m sure I’ll be much more willing to try it again.  I want to research ways to push better.  I think I had created a sureness in my mind that I’d be contracting for no more than 10 hours and that I’d be able to push her out in a couple pushes.  Everything I’ve read said it should be half the time of your first labor and that since you know how to push, it happens so quickly.  Hopefully that will all come true next time…!  As I think about her birth and labor & delivery in general, the more I think about how incredible it is that a body can even do that... it's almost superhuman to think of passing a child through your body like that.
Anyway, we're thrilled to be a family of four!

16 comments:

Andrea J said...

Oh Becky, what an intense time. I'm glad your done with that experience and can enjoy your Camille. Wow, delivering a posterior baby w/o meds - serious business.

*Aliese* said...

I love how Eliza looks so protective of Camille in both of those photos; too cute. What a great big sister! I haven't experienced child birth (yet), but I'm definitely not ruling out the pain meds purely because I don't want to be traumatized during the first go-around! :)

Mr. and Mrs. Hillarious said...

Your story sounds a lot like my SIL who just had her first. I was thinking "Gee, I wonder if Becky's baby was posterior" and then I read further and that's exactly what happened. My SIL was all for a natural birth but after about 3/4ths of a day had passed she ended up getting an epidural so she would have the strength to push the baby out. It's a good thing she did because she pushed for three hours! I'm pretty sure you are superhuman for doing it natural!!! Makes me really cross my fingers and hope that any future kids I have aren't posterior. Sure sounds awful! I love the name! Glad everything worked out in the end. My transition to two kids was so hard, I wish you the best of luck!

Christiansen's said...

Congrats, and what a darling baby! I love reading your birth story, I am sorry it was so crazy this time! The whole shaking thing, man I remember that happening with me with Jaden right after they brought me to my room, Trav was at the cafeteria, I was all alone and I thought my nurse was plotting to kill me and steal my baby ;) But I never had the whole bleeding thing, which is scary. Glad they were able to take good care of you! Congrats

Jessie said...

I'm so glad she's here and you're both healthy! Congratulations, she's beautiful. :)

My first two girls were both posterior--your experience here makes me so glad that I went the epidural route--what a scary, hard time. I'm so glad you came out ok! Good for you for making it through sans-drugs--you are seriously a super-woman.

I can't wait to hear how things go as you adjust to being the mom of two. I honestly feel like the transition to one baby is WAY harder than adding more. Good luck, hope your experience is the same. :)

Melissa said...

Congratulations! She is so pretty! I pushed for over 2 hours with 3 of my babies. Miriam was posterior.

FINDING PEACE IN 2012 said...

When I first saw the pic on Facebook with both you kids, I thought to myself: she looks like she lost a lot of blood. You looked so pale especially in the lips. I hope you take it easy and get lots of help for at least the first three weeks. It's a lot of work for your body to make more blood and milk, so drink lots. If you're not taking extra iron, I recommend floradix. It's awesome and wasn't hard on my stomach, just mix with orange juice. You are the woman! I don't think I could have made it through natural labor in a hospital but especially with out the birthing tub to ease the contractions! It is a hard journey, and I believe we really do walk through the valley of the shadow of death to bring these kids into the world! Feel empowered! You Did it! She is so beautiful and I love her name!

Phillip and Maggi said...

O Becky, you rock star! I am so impressed with your strength and persistence. Way to make such a difficult experience sound so beautiful. It kind of makes me wish I'd done one of my natural, but only kind of :) Good luck with two and remember you are a star!

Tannie Datwyler said...

I'm with Jessie - you are a superwoman!! I was forced into natural child birth with Deirdre and wasn't too happy about it. :) You are so good to do it willingly. I am so so sorry it was dreadful. :(

But, hooray for a new baby!! I love newborns, even though it is tough. Congratulations!!

SD and EJ said...

First of all, I have to say that I never realized how much you look like Laurie. Seriously!

I love the name Camille. She and Eliza will be such good friends (when they aren't fighting, of course). She is so beautiful!

And I'm amazed that you went through all that without any medication. But your story also made me grateful that I go the epidural route with my deliveries. :) You're awesome!

Julie said...

Thanks for sharing your story, I always love reading birth stories, sorry it was so traumatic! I'm glad Camille is here and like all things related to pregnancy and childbirth, hopefully the bad memories fade!

Sarah W. said...

I am so glad that everyone is home and ok. Your story is certainly adding to my list of reasons to avoid having children! ;)

Mike and Lisa said...

You rock! I stand in awe of women like you. I could never do it! I love the name. Best of luck with 2 kids. Emmett was really rough on us for the first 3 months of Claire's life. I think once he realized she wasn't leaving he got better. Now they love each other and 2 kids is awesome. Hang in there!

The Judd Family said...

Wow!!! I am amazed with your story! I am so sorry that it was so horrible. I've heard from several people that had their baby posterior and how painful it was. I would have wanted to die as well. You are amazing! You should be proud of yourself for dealing with so much pain. She is such a cutie! What a beautiful baby! Congrats!

The Judd Family said...

Oh I forgot to say what a great middle name. That is the same way we spell Kelli's name.

Effie said...

Oh my goodness, congrats Becky! That's so cool that she was born right after your birthday. Porter was born on our 4th anniversary! Ben was at basic training, so what a great anniversary gift to make up for it lol.
I do need to write down my birth story thanks for inspiring me!